It’s no secret that trying to understand the female species leaves one with more questions than answers. Even with the many resources at our disposal – magazines, research articles and the ever expanding internet – since the dawn of time, man has and will probably forever be bewildered and confused when it comes to solving the ever evolving labyrinth that’s the female heart, mind and body (yes, a lot of guys have serious problems in this department).

It’s virtually impossible to fully represent the manuscript that details how to understand women. However, there are a few baselines that women believe men should already know by now… because trust me, ladies are seriously frustrated at how the male species who are known for solving the most difficult problems, still have no clue when it comes to solving what women really want.

But sip some tea and relax because, by the end of this post, you’ll know top secrets that women wish men knew and will be able to reverse-engineer your actions to suit her tastes.

Women and men are fundamentally the same

A 2015 article title from the Guardian’s Deborah Orr sums it up: “Male and female brains are [basically] the same, but people are all different – and that gives me hope.” She was referring to the much talked about scientific brain study recently conducted at Tel Aviv University which found that there are a few minor differences between male and female brains at the biological level, but that they really are basically the same. “What we show is that there are multiple ways to be male and female…and most of these ways are completely overlapping,” said Daphna Joel, lead author of the study.

The bottom-line is: Don’t think for a second that women have characteristics different from men. The statement “It’s because she’s a woman” is one thing the feminine species hates hearing. Characteristics exhibited by women are more as a result of social influences than a nudge to how they’re created.

Showing kindness has always and will always be sexy.

Sure women are usually attracted to the “bad boy” demeanour at first, over time, one realises that it was nothing more than a phase which often times passes faster than thunder strikes. Studies reported by Psychology Today suggests that women are sometimes attracted to aggressive traits in men for immediate sexual gratification, but are then repelled by the thought of them as long-term partners.

In our defence, the popular notion that “nice guys get friend-zoned or taken for granted” comes to mind before all else.But the truth women don’t want to accept is that the “friend zone” theory, is just a way of telling women when, where, and who they should have sex with. So don’t be fooled, Women love kind men. Women have sex with kind men. Women want to marry kind men and have lots of sex, and babies with them (trust me, I know). Most times, Women stay with men who are unkind to them because they are scared, not because they like it. So stay woke and stay kind!

Read also: 10 Things Guys Find Unattractive and are Huge Turn Offs

Dressing sloppily isn’t cute

When it comes to fashion, we can agree that we all have different tastes and “dress to impress within our means,” But it’s a given that women are drawn to men who dress well. Whatever your favourite styles are, just combine it perfectly. “Anomalies” like dirty sneakers, dirty jeans, pit stains and underage underwear are just not classy.Clean up and wear an outfit that adds more charm to your flattering personality. If you don’t know what to wear, ask her to style you up (thank me later for this!). However, as far as understanding women go, they do not like you overdoing the dress thing… so balance is, as always, key!

You don’t need to pretend you’re perfect

Perfection is boring! Imagine how you’d feel when the “perfect” lady you’ve been stalking online that’s usually adorned in layers of filter, appears before you looking nothing like the perfection you’d been stalking, how would you feel?

It’s the same thing with girls. They don’t like a guy that tries too much or acts too perfect. Everyone knows nobody’s perfect — and, that imperfections make life, and relationships, interesting! So don’t present yourself as something you’re not because those hidden truths will come to the surface, anyway. Find someone who loves you for your own individual quirks and missteps. It’ll be worth it.

Ladies Hate Generalisations

When men say something like “I totally worship women,” or “I think women are better than men,” or even “I love women,” do you know what we hear? This: “I look at woman as a broad category, and not as complicated individuals — the way men are perceived.”

But you know what? Ladies contain multitudes! They’re not all Virgin Marys, or sluts. And we definitely don’t all want the same things in life. So throw out every bias about what makes men and women different, and learn to think of women and men as individuals — not generalised stereotypical automatons.

See also: How to use the little things to enjoy your relationship

Ladies are also afraid of losing their independence

The general notion which up till now is still causing more harm than good is “All women love marriage and want to marry ASAP.” whereas “All men are naturally scared of commitment” is something that should be left in the Stone Age. Believe it or not, women are just as scared of commitment as men are. According to data from the Pew Research Center, more and more couples are holding off on marriage until a later age, or, are deciding against it completely. And it takes two to make that decision.

According to author and life coach Sasha Cagen, women “have developed lives that they aren’t so eager to totally jettison when they find a partner.” More often than men, women are asked to give up or take time off from their careers, or interests, or friendships, for homemaking and childrearing purposes — and not everyone is so excited to do that.

Makeup is sometimes necessary!

Born out of the rubbish stigma that the worth of a woman lies in her beauty, today’s women have taken the term “enhancing beauty” to a whole new level. Many women now feel incomplete, naked and ugly without makeup on as opposed to the confident and higher self-esteem they have with.

Image by © Peathegee Inc/Blend Images/Corbis

“Makeup plays different roles in a woman’s life,” Makeup expert Eldridge says. First, there’s “the playful creative aspect. Who doesn’t enjoy swirling a brush in a palette of colour? Then there’s the confidence-building aspect. Why not cover up a huge red blemish if you can? Finally, there’s an element of war and tribalism. Makeup can make you feel more powerful and ready to face any situation.” True words!

So as a guy, if you do not like makeup, you can either talk to her about it or slowly ease her off it by making her realise how beautiful she is without it. Or you can make her opt for light makeup and not the heavy ones (because we really don’t like heavy makeups)

Forget Feminism Bants, Women Are Tired of Inequality

Hear ye, hear ye! This is a general announcement that women like to be listened to and appreciated as individuals. We are unhappy with being stereotyped, boxed-in, domineered, undermined, and even paid less for equal work!

The feminist movement is experiencing a true renaissance in 2017, so don’t expect tired gender norms and inequalities to stand for long. There are lots of things anyone can do to help the world move toward gender equality.

Listening to women, and ending the problem of equating women and weakness can go a long way in warming a woman’s heart towards you.

Also, own your feminine traits. Cry when you are sad, wear pink-coloured clothes, cook, bake, and talk about your feelings. There’s nothing sexy about a plain rock!

Related: How to know if the relationship will last

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