While you may be doing everything you, your favourite magazine, and BFFs feel is “right” to attract the opposite sex, it may shock you to know that some of the things you do actually have the opposite effect. Instead of the guys to be running to you, your actions have them running for the hills.To make sure that you attract the right guys, you should try to stay away from the things listed below. Avoid them like a plague and watch how guys will flock around and be queuing up to date/court you in no time at all.
Wearing Too Much Makeup
Yes, you want to slay and look beautiful for him, the camera, and all your haters on social media. Yes, you believe wearing an arsenal of foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, and blush will have him and others drooling. However, it’s not always the case, especially when the makeup is too much and unappealing to the eyes.
A study in The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology revealed that women tend to overestimate the amount of makeup that men find attractive, and as a result, many women end up applying way too much. In other words, you may choose to wear a lot of makeup because you think it draws men toward you, but in reality, it’s actually warding them off.
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In terms of using makeup to enhance your beauty, the key thing to note is “less is more.” And a lot of girls rocking their natural beauty always end up with the right guy because; “the guy already knows the face he’s gonna be waking up to.”😝
Playing Hard To Get
This has and will always be a problem when it comes to attracting men. Sure, men are known for enjoying the thrill of the chase, but it’s important to note that there is a fine line between being independent and being unavailable. You may feel that playing hard to get is a sure way to attract guys, it instead, makes you seem immature and gives off the impression that you are not ready nor willing to connect with him on a deeper emotional level. And once a guy feels that way, it’s off to the next for him. Trust that acting detached and aloof would have you coming across as uninterested, flaky, and just plain annoying. Playing hard to get is an easy way to strike out with a guy.
Though this has been termed a “regular female trait,” and yes, it sure is fun to indulge in the latest rumours and scandals in the lives of everyone you know/don’t know over tea and biscuits, it may shock you to learn that guys really detest gossips!
It’s understandable that you just want to keep him in the loop of things, and make sure you always have something – or in this case, someone – to talk about, note that it is a major turn-off for most guys because it makes you (the gossip) not only come across as someone with a low self-esteem, but the guy starts wondering what you tell other people about him as well.
Also, it’s no secret that people with low self-esteem always resort to gossiping to make themselves feel better and place themselves on a fake pedestal. Instead of facing their lives and trying to overcome their own failures, they laugh at those who are actually trying. So if you’re looking to attract men, you should keep in mind that guys are drawn to women who are confident, value themselves, and don’t put others down as a way to lift themselves up.
Having high self-esteem is a quality that men find sexy and a huge turn on. But knowing how to balance that with needing him is extremely important. No man likes to feel like he isn’t needed as “the man” to do the manly things where and when necessary. Though you should definitely believe in yourself, be proud of your accomplishments, and be happy with what you have to offer, also keep in mind that showing off is a major turn off.
Specifically, research has shown that people who boast about themselves don’t even recognise the full extent of the negative response they receive from others, as discussed in Psychological Science. Having a huge ego makes a man wonder what his place really is in your life and makes him ask the question “am I really needed?” A question which usually marks the beginning of things falling apart. So, humility is key!
Trashing Your Ex
In your head, you probably believe that bad-mouthing your ex is a good way to make the “possible next” believe he’s winning because he has the right qualities unlike the one(s) before. The bad-mouthing act, instead, makes him wonder just how really over your ex you are since he is all you talk about at any chance you get.“That’s why you are perfect, my ex would never have done that.”… Statements like that can not only ruin his mind and the moment you would’ve possibly had, it can make him start thinking that the very same statements will have his name fixed into it appropriately if things don’t work out between you people. So rather than talking smack about your ex and venting about all the ways he wronged you, leave the past in the past so you can attract Mr. Right in the future.
Being Too Needy
As stated earlier, it is true that men want to feel needed by their woman because it’s a stroke of the all-powerful male ego. However, most women make the mistake of interpreting this by being too needy, jealous and desperate to be with him every time and spend every possible waking moment with him – which is a huge turn off for guys.Being too dependent or clingy thinking it will draw him closer to you, will instead, have him looking for many ways to stay further away from you with the “I need some space” line. Note that men want to know that they complement your life as opposed to being the centre of your universe on which your entire happiness level and sense of self-worth depend. Putting an end to negative self-talk, getting out of your comfort zone, and learning how to resolve issues on your own are quality steps you can take to stop seeming and being needy.
Rocking Every Rave/ Being A Party Girl
If you believe that being the kind of girl who is down for whatever. A girl who goes clubbing and parties like there’s no tomorrow is a huge turn on for guys… you couldn’t be more wrong! Sure, you will attract guys, but you definitely won’t attract the right ones. In fact, most men try to stay away from party girls because these women have a tendency to act recklessly, make poor decisions (possibly under the influence), and put themselves and others in uncomfortable and potentially harmful situations. Men want women who are confident, outgoing, and who like to have fun, but guys will draw the line when it comes to women who throw caution to the wind and are always looking to party hard no matter the circumstances. Rather than coming off as careless and immature, you should opt to party responsibly and enjoy the positive responses you’ll see from the guys around you.
Always Being A Damsel In Distress
Childhood fairy tales and Disney all proved that this card was a lovely one to play with would-be princes. But even now, the very same corporations which relied heavily on those cards have turned it around and are having strong lead female characters. So why are you still living in the age when playing a damsel in distress was a thing?Men detest drama and getting caught up in it. So in reality, if you play the DID card in the hopes of attracting a guy, you may be sad to see that it will make you come off as desperate, immature, and overdramatic. Rather than trying to catch his eye by blowing up situations, hoping it’ll entice him to hop on his horse with sword in hand to come save you, you instead should save yourself the trouble by engaging in exercises that can help to boost your self-esteem, and also learn effective problem-solving strategies that will help you to become more self-sufficient. If you want to attract your very own Prince Charming, acting like a drama queen is the dragon’s breath.
Having Overly Styled Hair
Spending hours in the salon just to look beautiful like you see in fashion and beauty magazines can have the worst effect if you believe it will attract the right guy.
In fact, a survey by Pantene revealed that 78 percent of men are drawn to women with shiny, full, healthy-looking hair, as opposed to hair that’s been overly styled and manipulated. Specifically, loose curls and wavy hair are considered more appealing to men than excessively flat-ironed slick-straight hair and complex updos. But if you’re still not convinced that you should opt for a more natural and effortless look when it comes to your locks, keep in mind that the survey found that 80 percent of men believe that having unhealthy hair is a total turn off. And what’s even more telling? Approximately 75 percent of men reported that a woman’s hair is the first thing that they notice about the woman herself. In a word, opting for low-maintenance hair will yield high results when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex. So say no to the rainbow-coloured braids and turn-off colour combos. Stay off complex hair styles!
Being a Yes Woman
Being a “yes woman” and always agreeing with him can be a major turn off. If you are scared to say “no,” then you are either in the wrong relationship or with the wrong person. Not only does it make you come off as too timid and immature, it’ll display your lack of openness, honesty, and authenticity. After all, being able to express your true thoughts and feelings is what helps to strengthen your connection and enables you to get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level. The key is to be your true self — that way you can attract the right man who appreciates the person you really are and not the person you think he wants you to be.